Comical Cheney

I love that guy! He can really see the silver lining in any gray cloud.

If [Saddam] were still there today, we'd have a terrible situation.

Today, instead...

BLITZER: But there is a terrible situation there.

CHENEY: No, there is not. There is not. There's problems -- ongoing problems -- but we have, in fact, accomplished our objectives of getting rid of the old regime...

BLITZER: And...

CHENEY: ... and there is a new regime in place that's been there for less than a year, far too soon for you guys to write them off. They have got a democratically written constitution, the first ever in that part of the world. They've had three national elections. So there's been a lot of success.

Brilliant!

And there's more. As he slaps down critics who can't appreciate the "enormous successes" in Iraq; pantywaists like Jim Webb and Chuck Hagel. "Hogwash," I tells ya.

Cheney's bravura performance on Wolf Blitzer's "Situation Room" got me to thinking about another magnificent bastard: Iraqi Information Minister Muhammed Saeed al-Saha. Or as he was better known, Comical Ali. Who could forget such classics as:

"There are no American infidels in Baghdad. Never!"

"My feelings - as usual - we will slaughter them all"

"Our initial assessment is that they will all die"

"God will roast their stomachs in hell at the hands of Iraqis."

"We are not afraid of the Americans. Allah has condemned them. They are stupid. They are stupid... [dramatic pause] and they are condemned."

Not many people can stare straight into the light of cold hard facts and still have the brass to say "No it isn't." It takes courage. It takes stunning bravado. It takes a glorious audacity with which God endows few men.

And I love the way he rocked Blitzer back on his heels when he tried to question him about White House allies Focus on the Family.

BLITZER: You know, we're out of time, but a couple of issues I want to raise with you: your daughter, Mary. She's pregnant. All of us are happy she's going to have a baby. You're going to have another grandchild. Some of the -- some critics are suggesting -- for example, a statement from someone representing Focus on the Family, "Mary Cheney's pregnancy raises the question of what's best for children. Just because it's possible to conceive a child outside of the relationship of a married mother and father doesn't mean that it's best for the child." Do you want to respond to that?

CHENEY: No.

BLITZER: She's, obviously, a good daughter --

CHENEY: I'm delighted I'm about to have a sixth grandchild, Wolf.

And obviously I think the world of both my daughters and all of my grandchildren. And I think, frankly, you're out of line with that question.

BLITZER: I think all of us appreciate --

CHENEY: I think you're out of line.

BLITZER: We like your daughters. Believe me, I'm very sympathetic to Liz and to Mary. I like them both. That was a question that's come up, and it's a responsible, fair question.

CHENEY: I just fundamentally disagree with you.

BLITZER: I want to congratulate you on having another grandchild.

So what did I miss? Mary Cheney's a komodo dragon?... Well, what's wrong with that? Who cares if she reproduces by parthenogenesis? What business is that of Wolf Blitzer's?! Thank god there are still men of steel who can look nosey parker reporters in the eye and say, "You're out of line!"