The Checkered Rhetoric of Alberto Gonzales

Friday, March 23, 2007

Well the "Checkers Speech" it ain't, but the latest attempt by Attorney General Alberto Gonzales to weasel out of Prosecutorgate is certainly a nod to that master of pathos, Richard M. Nixon.

The only questions he answered from reporters there, however, showed he hadn't escaped the scandal that has engulfed the capital for weeks _ and led to growing calls for his ouster.

"I'm not going to resign," he said. "I'm going to stay focused on protecting our kids."

Nixon dodged a slush fund scandal and rescued his political career by talking about his dog. Alberto Gonzales hides behind our children, as new details emerge daily about his role in the political, and possibly illegal, ouster of federal prosecutors. Which is more venal? Well, like most things to do with the Bush Administration, I have to give the nod to Gonzales. Yes, the burgeoning corruption of Bushco actually makes me long for the halcyon days of Nixon. Even at the height of Watergate, it was a simpler, more honest time.

Where Nixon relied on a shameless, pull on your heart strings, Norman Rockwellesque picture of a family and their cuddly pup, you can always count on any member of Bushco to go straight for fear. You need me or your children are going to be molested... possibly murdered.

The embattled attorney general is reaching beyond Washington over the next week to try to soothe his remaining prosecutors and show the public he's still working hard to curb crime. He'll also talk with local media in dozens of cities Friday about keeping kids safe from sexual predators.

Stay tuned, folks. Alberto Gonzales may be bringing his "Wag the Children" extravaganza to a city near you.